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Spare Parts & Sorcery: Petunia And The Terrible Awful Quite Rhyming Day

AI-written Written end to end by Dracon’s own AI pipeline. The byline is a configuration, not a person.

Chapter 3 of 20

The clang of Silas Cobb's wrench against a stubborn bolt rang through Cobb's Clutch Cogs at seven minutes past eight, and that was when the singing began.

Not singing, exactly. Rhyming. From somewhere out in the yard.

Wren Alderton looked up first. She was perched on a rolling creeper seat near the lifted chassis of old Mr. Cotton's tractor, a grease rag tucked into her back pocket, her red-brown hair pinned up with a length of copper wire she'd bent into a makeshift clip. Her narrow face tilted toward the wide garage doors where the morning light was cutting a dusty golden bar across the concrete.

"Cobbs," she said, low and careful. "We've got a customer who sounds like a music box."

Silas straightened from where he'd been crouched beside the tractor's rear axle. His back popped. He pressed a knuckle to the small of it and winced.

"What in the blazes," he muttered.

The sound drew nearer. It carried the deliberate cadence of someone performing rather than speaking, each word landing with the rehearsed weight of a dropped anvil.

A pale blue 1968 Volkswagen Beetle rolled around the corner of the yard at the pace of an unhurried Sunday stroll, its tires crunching soft over gravel. Behind the wheel sat Mrs. Plumtree, the town postmistress, her white hair pinned neatly beneath a straw boater, her gloved hands steady at ten and two. She looked composed, almost regal, if one could overlook the alarming way her motorcar listed hard to the left.

"Through the gates of Cobb's fine hall, I come to beg repair of all!" the Beetle announced in a voice that was polished brass and velvet, rich with theatrical flourish. The driver's door swung open of its own accord with a genteel click. "My axle, dear, has snapped in two. Whatever shall a poor car do?"

Mrs. Plumtree stepped out, brushed a speck of dust from her glove, and looked faintly embarrassed.

"Good morning, Mr. Cobb," she said, in the soft, measured tone of someone long accustomed to her vehicle's dramatics. "I do apologize for Petunia. She gets carried away when she's upset."

Silas stared. Then a chuckle rumbled up through his broad chest, the kind of laugh he couldn't quite smother even when he tried.

"Petunia, is it?" He hooked his thumbs into the pockets of his oil-stained overalls. "That's the name of your motor?"

The Beetle's headlamps flicked on, then off, in what could only be described as a theatrical wink.

"Petunia is my name," the car replied, with tremendous dignity. "And I shall not be moved until help arrives, for I am quite broken, alas, alack!"

"Right then," Silas said, exchanging a glance with Wren. His eyes were bright with the particular mischief he reserved for any vehicle with a name and an opinion. "Miss Petunia, you'd best not be moved at all, the state of you. Wren, fetch me the creeper and a torch. Mrs. Plumtree, would you care for a cup of tea while we have a look beneath?"

"How very kind, Mr. Cobb. I should like that above all things." Mrs. Plumtree tucked her handbag beneath her arm and accepted the stool Wren dragged over for her, settling onto it with the careful dignity of a small bird alighting on a branch.

Wren was already on her back beneath the Beetle, the torch in her teeth, her eyes scanning the undercarriage. The smell reached her first: hot metal and the burnt sweetness of gearbox oil that had been somewhere it ought not to have been. She felt along the front suspension with her fingertips, found the wishbone, traced it back to where it met the chassis, and stopped.

"Cobbs," she said, around the torch. Her voice had gone flat.

Silas crouched beside her, peering beneath. His face, when he drew back, had lost its laughter.

"Bugger me," he said softly.

The front offside stub axle was not merely broken. It was sheared clean through, the still bright where the metal had parted, the surrounding steel unmarked by rust or fatigue. Whatever had done this had done it in one clean stroke.

"Now tell me, Mrs. Plumtree," Silas said, keeping his voice the careful sort of steady that folk learned when bad news was on the way, "when did you first notice something was amiss with the motor?"

Mrs. Plumtree's gloved hands tightened on her handbag. "Just this morning, Mr. Cobb. I came out of the cottage to fetch the post from the churchyard garden and there she was, sitting on the drive at such an angle I thought she'd taken root. Petunia would not say a word all the way here, only when we drew near your establishment did she begin to, well, to declaim."

"Declaim," Wren repeated, sliding out from beneath the Beetle. Her freckled face was smudged with grease and her mind was elsewhere, turning the problem like a coin between her fingers. "Petunia. Did something strike you? A kerb, a pothole, a stray cat with poor judgment?"

"Struck I was, struck quite clean!" Petunia's radiator grille rippled as if with a sniff. "A something slid across the lane, all fur and silent sound, and then my axle gave a dreadful groan and down I settled to the ground!"

Wren looked at Silas. "Fur and silent sound."

"A hare, perhaps," Mrs. Plumtree offered hopefully. "They do dart across the lane near the churchyard. The verger is forever shooing them off the graves."

"A hare," Silas repeated. His thumbs had stopped moving in his pockets. He was watching the bright of the broken axle, the way the morning sun caught the fresh steel and threw a small bright coin of light up onto the wall behind him. "A hare sheared a stub axle clean through. Without so much as a scuff on the wishbone to show for it."

The garage was quiet. Wren reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, a habit of hers when she was thinking hard. She looked at Mrs. Plumtree, then at the Beetle, then at the broken axle, then at Silas.

"Cobbs," she said, careful as a person walking on thin ice. "That's not the sort of thing a hare does."

"No," Silas agreed. He had not taken his eyes off the broken metal. "It is not."

Petunia's engine turned over of its own accord, a single reluctant revolution, and spoke again into the silence.

"Whatever brushed across my path did not feel of fur, but of something colder. I dared not look. I dared not stir. I sat upon the drive and waited, for I am afraid, you see, I am afraid of the dark, and the thing that crossed my lane was the dark."

Mrs. Plumtree made a small distressed sound. Her gloved hand went to the lace at her throat.

"There, there, Petunia," she murmured, patting the bonnet. "There's a good girl."

Silas drew a long breath through his nose. He looked at Wren, and she saw the thing she had learned to recognise in him over the years of her apprenticeship: the moment when bluster fell away and the older, quieter man beneath put his thinking cap on.

"Wren," he said. "Pop down to the yard gate and shut it. And bring me the big lamp."

She went without a word.

Silas took a folded handkerchief from his breast pocket and polished the broken face of the axle while he waited. The metal gleamed under the cloth. It looked almost too clean. It looked almost as if it had been parted by a blade.

He did not say this aloud.

The yard gate groaned on its hinges as Wren came back across the cobbles, the big lamp swinging from her grip. She had shut the gate behind her, as bidden, and latched it with the chain that Silas kept oiled for just this purpose. The lamp was a heavy thing, brass-bodied, with a smoked glass chimney that threw a circle of amber light onto the concrete floor and made the oil stains look like puddles of dark honey.

"Right then," she said, setting it down on the workbench. "Let's have a proper look."

Silas said nothing. He stepped back to give her room, and he watched her the way a man watches a young horse cross a stream in flood: with quiet hope, and one hand ready to catch the bridle.

Wren pulled on a pair of canvas gloves from the hook by the bench. She circled the Beetle slowly, her head tilted, her eyes narrowed in the lamplight. She paused at the front nearside wing and crouched, running her fingers along the curve of the mudguard.

"Tracks," she said. "Here, look. Something small came across the forecourt. You can see the marks in the oil slick."

Silas leaned in. The marks were there, sure enough: a scatter of small, neat prints in the dark film of gearbox oil that had bled from Petunia's sump. They could have been a hare. They could have been a cat. They could have been a dozen things, and the eye saw what it was told to see.

Wren stood and dusted her knees with a snap of the canvas.

"Hare," she said, with the confidence of a person who has decided. "Startled her on the drive. She bolted, caught a wheel on the kerbstone, and the impact snapped something in the suspension."

Silas felt his stomach drop a little, the way it did when he saw a promising apprentice reach for the wrong spanner and not know it.

"And the axle?" he asked, as mild as milk.

Wren waved a glove at him. "The axle's secondary. Probably went when she hit the kerb. Bounce damage. You get that sometimes with worn joints. I've read about it in the manual."

The word "manual" landed in Silas's ears like a tin penny dropped on a stone floor. He had heard that tone before, in every young mechanic who had ever walked through his workshop doors: the brisk certainty of someone who had read three chapters of a book and concluded they knew the whole story. He did not move. He let her stand there in her conviction, the way a parent lets a child walk a few steps on a frozen pond before warning them about the thin places.

"Right, then," he said, his voice easy as a Sunday. "Let's get her up on the ramp."

Wren was halfway to the chain hoist when the lamp on the bench flickered. Then it dimmed. Then it went out entirely, leaving the workshop lit only by the orange glow of the forge in the far corner, which threw their shadows long and boneless across the oil-stained concrete. Silas heard Wren stop, heard the soft scuff of her canvas glove on the hoist chain, heard her breath catch.

"Silas?"

"Stay where you are, lass."

He crossed to the bench in three slow strides, his boots heavy on the grit. He did not reach for a candle. He did not strike a match. He laid his right hand flat on the worktop, beside the dented tin of Swan Vestas he had carried since Wetherby, and he closed his eyes.

Wren Alderton had grown up in a town where magic was the sort of thing neighbours whispered about over garden fences. Her uncle Bram had never spoken of it, not once, not even when the old Alderton property still stood at the edge of Roscoe's fields and the chimney threw shapes into the dusk that no rational eye could name. She had heard the rumours. She had read the back pages of the almanac that the travelling bookman sold from a barrow. She had believed, in the private way of an only child who reads by candlelight, that there were things in the world which the manual did not cover.

She had never, until this moment, seen a man lay his hand on a workbench and make the air go thick.

The temperature dropped first. Not by much, but enough that she could see her own breath bloom silver in the orange half-light. The smell followed: a green, mineral smell, like wet chalk, like the underside of a stone you had lifted from a riverbed in high summer. It was the smell she had never been able to name, the smell that sometimes crept into the workshop when Silas thought himself unobserved. Then came the sound, a low hum at the very bottom of her hearing, almost more felt than heard, a vibration that travelled up through the soles of her boots and settled into the bones of her ankles.

Wren could not have moved if she had tried. Her legs had gone to water. She pressed her back against the hoist and watched.

Silas's hand moved. Not in the quick, practised sweeps of a man handling a spanner, but in slow, deliberate arcs, as if he were coaxing a fox from a drainpipe. His fingers trembled with effort, and she saw the tendons in his wrist stand out like guy-ropes in a gale. The sleeve of his work shirt had ridden up, and she could see the old scar that ran from his wrist to the meat of his forearm, the puckered rope of skin he usually kept hidden beneath a leather cuff. He had got that scar somewhere he had never spoken of, she realised now. Somewhere in the same country as this.

"Watch," he said, and his voice sounded different. Thinner. Older. Yorkshire still, but the Yorkshire of a man who had once stood in a different workshop, with different lamps, with different hands.

The Beetle's nearside axle began to rise.

She saw it. She saw it the way you see a thing you cannot believe, with the eyes refusing to help the brain. The broken joint, the one she had reasoned into a hare-bolt-kerbstone story that accounted for everything and proved nothing, lifted itself from the concrete. It did not float so much as reassemble. The hairline fracture in the housing sealed with a thin metallic click, like a knuckle popping. The split cup of the CV joint folded itself back into shape. The grease that had leaked out in a long grey tear crept backwards across the floor, gathered itself into a trembling bead, and rejoined the casing through a hole that was no longer there. The whole thing took less than a minute, but the minute stretched like a wet sheet in a high wind, and when it was over, the axle hung in the air for a heartbeat, then settled back onto the wheel with a soft, satisfied clunk.

The lamp on the bench came back on. The forge fired up with a startled roar. Somewhere outside, a rooster at Tobias Hinch's farm took it into his head to crow at the wrong hour.

Wren made a sound. It was not a word. It was the small, involuntary noise a person makes when they have just watched the floor come up and meet them.

"There's your secondary damage," Silas said. His hand came off the bench, and he stood straight, and he was breathing as if he had run up the churchyard hill on a hot August day. The colour had gone out of his face and he looked, suddenly, every one of his seventy-three years, with the scar on his wrist a white rope against the drained grey of his skin. He reached for the bench and missed it by an inch. Wren darted forward, her fear forgotten in the reflex of a girl raised by a man who had taught her that a falling body was a thing to be caught, not stared at.

"Silas." She got her shoulder under his arm. "Sit down. Sit down, you great stubborn lump."

He let her lower him onto the stool. He put his hands on his knees and blew out a long breath, and the breath steamed faintly in air that should not have been cold any longer. When he looked up at her, there was something in his eye she had not seen before, or rather, something she had seen a hundred times in his patience and his kindness and his quiet, stubborn decency, but which she had never been able to name. It was the look of a man who has just shown a child a room in his house he had always kept locked.

"Now then," he said, and tried for a chuckle. It came out thin. "That was a diagnostic."

Wren lowered herself onto the second stool, across the bench from him. Her gloves were still on. Her hands were still shaking. She looked once at the Beetle's axle. She looked once at Silas. She looked at her own hands, as if she expected to see the magic in them, too.

"The hare," she said, after a long moment. Her voice was very small.

Silas shook his head. He did not speak at once. He reached for the dented tin on the bench, took out a Swan Vestas, and struck one. The flare of sulphur lit his face from below, and she saw the tiredness in it, the deep, bone-set tiredness of a man who had carried something heavy for a long time and had just, for the first time in her knowing, set it down.

"Her name's Petunia," he said, and lit the candle that stood in a saucer by the till. "And she's eight years old. And she's scared of the dark. And she came round this morning with a sprung knee and a story about a hedgehog that I did not believe for one minute, and I put her back together, and her friend Pearl ran her home in a laundry basket, and I thought that was the end of it."

He paused. He rubbed the scar on his wrist with his thumb, the way a man rubs a worry stone.

"It was not the end of it."

Wren sat very still. The candle flame wavered. Outside, a cart went past on the lane, and the wheels made a sound like a slow drum, and the sound faded, and the silence that came after was not empty but full, the way a chapel is full after the congregation has gone.

"Tell me," she said.

"Not tonight, lass."

"Silas."

"Tonight," he said, and his voice was gentle, and final, "we put Petunia right. Tomorrow, if you're still of a mind, I'll tell you what I know. And it will not be in any manual you have ever read."

Before she could answer, the workshop door rolled up on its tracks with a clatter, and a small, urgent figure came scooting in on a scooter with a buckled front wheel and a purple hand-me-down scarf trailing behind her like a pennant.

The figure was Petunia. Behind her, pink-faced and panting, came Pearl, who had run the entire way from Tobias Hinch's farmhouse in the hope that someone with a mended knee would notice her distress.

"Silas Cobb," Petunia announced, sailing into the workshop as if she were entering a throne room, "I have returned to render due and proper thanks for services rendered, and furthermore to inquire, with the utmost deference, whether the diagnosis is complete, because I have places to be and Pearl is making a scene."

Pearl burst into tears, in the immediate, calamitous way of a child who has been holding them in for a quarter of an hour and has reached the limit of what small lungs can do.

"There, there, my duck," Silas said. He stood, slowly, and the colour had come back into his face, and when he crossed to the Beetle and laid his great scarred hand on the wing, his hand was steady. "She's mended, your Petunia. Properly mended. You can take her home."

He stepped aside. Petunia crossed the workshop floor with the measured tread of a very small magistrate, and stopped in front of the old mechanic, and drew herself up to her full height, which was precisely four feet and a half an inch on a good day.

Then she delivered her thanks in iambic pentameter.

"Sir, you have set my heart at ease," she began, and her voice rose, ringing and clear, "and mended every spring and every faulty squeezing. I shall not forget this kindness, no, not for all my life's remaining days, for you have set my wheels aright and tuned my joyful praising."

She paused. She placed one small hand on the Beetle's roof.

"Petunia, I thank you, kind sir, whose hands did work the marvel such, that I might roll, in state and grace, along the lane, with rear-wheel swerve and matched-up face, restored by Cobb, whose name means very much."

She gave Silas a look of such withering, seven-year-old solemnity that Wren had to press her hand against her mouth.

Then Petunia climbed into the driver's seat, adjusted the purple scarf, grasped the wheel with both hands, and reversed out of the workshop at precisely two miles an hour, her rear wheels waggling in two neat, symmetrical arcs across the oil-stained concrete. Pearl, still snivelling, ran after her, waving a hand that meant both farewell and come-back-please-wait-for-me.

The Beetle disappeared down the lane. The sound of its engine dwindled into the dusk.

Wren looked at Silas. Silas looked at the candle. The candle looked at neither of them, being a candle, and burned on, steady and small, in the saucer by the till.

"Well," Wren said, at last.

"Well," said Silas.

Neither of them said anything else for a long time. And the silence in the workshop was, at last, a comfortable one.

Silas moved first. He reached for the candle saucer, pinched out the little flame between thumb and finger with a soft hiss, and set the saucer on the shelf behind the till. Then he drew the bolts on the workshop door and stood with his back against it, as if the night might try to follow them in.

"There now," he said. "There now, then."

Wren was still standing by the workbench. She had her hands in her apron pockets, and she was looking at the oil stain on the floor where the Beetle had been. The shape of it was perfect. Four small rectangles, two larger ones for the rear wheels, and a long oval where a sump had dripped in some forgotten decade. She knew every garage had one, that ghost outline of a vehicle that had been the centre of the world for an hour.

"She'll have to come back for the scarf," Wren said. "Petunia. Her dad can't drive without it."

"Aye," said Silas. "Aye, he can't."

He did not add that he rather hoped Fletcher would take his time about it. He did not add that the workshop felt, for the first time in a long while, like somewhere he wanted to stay. He kept those things folded up inside his chest, the way he kept the photograph of the Gilded Mile tucked in the back of the ledger.

"Right," he said, and pushed himself off the door. "Tea's going cold. Come on, then."

In the back room behind the workshop, there was a deal table, two mismatched chairs, a kettle on a gas ring, and a calendar on the wall with a picture of a red rally car that had not been changed since 1987. Silas filled the kettle from the cold tap and set it on the ring. Wren took the cups down from the shelf. They moved around each other in the small space without bumping, the way people do when they have known each other long enough to share a kitchen.

"Proper busy day," Wren said, and dropped a tea bag into each cup. "Proper, proper busy day."

"Aye."

"Petunia's verse, though. That was something."

"Aye."

"You were laughing, mind. I saw you laughing."

"I was not."

"You were. Under your moustache. It went up at the side."

Silas set the kettle on the ring with more force than was strictly necessary. The flame whooshed blue and settled. He did not look at Wren. He did not need to. He could feel her smiling at the back of his head, and he found, to his considerable surprise, that he did not mind.

The kettle began to tick. The workshop ticked with it. Somewhere down the lane, a dog barked once, thought better of it, and went quiet.

"Silas," Wren said, after a moment.

"Mm."

"Thank you. For letting me bring her in. I know she was a handful."

"She was a poet," Silas said. "That's worse."

Wren laughed. It was a short, bright sound, like a spanner dropped on concrete, and it made Silas's shoulders drop half an inch from where they had been living, up near his ears, since half past seven that morning.

"There was a moment," he said, and he was not sure why he was saying it, "when she read out that last line. About my name meaning very much." He paused. The kettle began to whisper. "I had not heard my name said like that in some time."

Wren did not answer straight away. She understood, the way she always understood, that what he was really saying was something else. That the Gilded Mile was thirty years gone. That he had blown an engine on a straight and lost his nerve and lost his girl and lost his nerve again, and that no one since had called him anything but Silas, or Mr Cobb, or, on Saturdays down at the snug, that daft old bugger with the bushy eyebrows.

"No one calls me anything but Wren," she said, lightly. "Or 'that Alderton girl.'"

"Aye, well," Silas said. "You are that Alderton girl. And no mistake."

The kettle boiled. He poured the water in a thin, steady stream. He brought the cups to the table. He sat down. He blew across the surface of his tea, and the steam curled up and vanished into the dim air, which smelled of old oil and cold tea and the last trace of one purple candle.

"You know what I think," Wren said, sitting opposite him. "I think Petunia is a menace and a treasure both, and I think you like them both, and I think that Beetle will be back on Tuesday with a squeak in the offside front wheel that she'll pretend has been there for years."

Silas snorted into his tea.

"And I think," Wren went on, "that your name does mean very much. To her. To Pearl. To your customers. To me."

"Hmph," said Silas, into his moustache.

"And I think," she said, and she was looking at him steadily now, her chin propped on one hand, "that you ought to put the kettle on again in a minute. Because I have eaten none of Mrs Plumtree's fondant fancies, and she will ask, and I shall have to lie."

Silas looked at her. The calendar rally car grinned down at him from the wall, its number 7 half peeled at one corner.

"Right then," he said. "Fondant fancies it is."

He stood, and his knees popped the way knees do, and he took the kettle to the sink. As the cold water ran into it, filling the small metal belly, he said, very quietly, over his shoulder:

"And Wren."

"Mm?"

"Your da. He would have been proud of that verse. Even the bit about me."

He did not turn around. He did not need to. He heard her breath catch, just slightly, and then steady.

"Aye," she said. "Aye, he would."

The kettle was full. Silas set it back on the ring. He struck a match. The gas caught with a soft blue bloom. Outside, somewhere down the lane, a small engine coughed, then caught, then settled into a purr, and he knew without being told that Petunia had made it home, that she had remembered to indicate at the crossroads, and that she was telling her father, right this minute, that his Beetle was the finest chariot in all of Gearswick, restored by Cobb, whose name meant very much.

He smiled, under his moustache, where no one could see.

The kettle began to sing. The candle smoke had long since faded from the air. Somewhere a clock in the back room ticked over to half past nine, and the day, at last, was done.

Ch 3 / 20